Wednesday, February 4, 2015

It's World Cancer Day

It's World Cancer Day today
and I have no clue what to do with it. 

You would thing that since I have cancer I would have something profound to say. 

You would think that since I have a mother who is in remission from cancer I would know what to say. 

You would think that since I have a friend who just died from cancer I would have something eloquent to say. 

You would think that since I worked as an Oncology nurse, I would know the right thing to say. 

You would think that. Since I have friends and family and colleagues I would have a clue what needs to be said. 

I really don't. Cancer still sucks. I wish it would go the heck away, but it seems that with 1 in 2 people getting cancer In This day in age we will all be dealing with cancer in our lives. I really think this is the new chronic illness of the decade. 

It seems weird to me to have a day devoted to cancer awareness because for me, I'm aware of it every single day. I never have a day that it doesn't cross my mind and there isn't a day that goes by where I'm still trying to figure out the new norm. And with my kind of cancer right now, I wonder if the pre-cancer me is really all that different from the post-cancer me. I don't fit in a survivor category. I don't fit in the treatment category. I fall in the waiting category. Y'all know how I feel about that. I wait just as terribly without cancer as I do with it. 

But it seems that God has given me some sort of strength to deal with it. I follow my cycle of prayer, exercise, and connections that helps me when I feel especially "cancerous" some days. I don't feel especially strong. I don't really know if I'm managing it the right way. It's more like I don't know any other way to deal with it. 

For me, every day is cancer awareness day and that's about all I have to say about that. 😉