First off, it's probably a little demeaning when I apologize for something I cannot control. It's also probably a little insulting since he takes his marriage vows very seriously. Sure, I bet he would like to take this from me, but he has vowed "in sickness and in health" and has not wavered. My husband is my rock. I know I am never alone with him by my side. In some ways, his journey is more difficult than mine. As my priest reminded me, Treb now has to pick up the pieces of what I physically cannot do and often remains steadfast when I am too emotionally drained to deal with more. He has had to take on my household chores, the kids, taking telephone calls and answering multiple emails and going to the grocery store. All of these things are things he hates to do, especially talking on the phone and going to the grocery store! Not that we keep count but the dude will have so many kitchen passes by the time this is through he will be able to trade them in for a boat that he so desperately wants. :)
All of this leads to a litany of "I am so sorry" in my brain. The first time I said it, he swatted me with the kitchen towel as he was doing dishes. The second time I said it, he gave me the eye ball. And the third time I said it, he told me every time I said I was sorry he was going to go out and buy himself a new x-wing miniatures figure.
You see, my husband loves to play tactical board games. His newest favorite is the Star Wars X-wing miniatures game. He may be a little obsessed and before all this started, I was getting seriously annoyed with the frequent packages from amazon with a new ship for his collection.
So I really need to be careful with my "sorry" comments. In one way or another, they may come back to bite me. :) or at least if I am weak, he will be getting something good out of my moment of self-pity.
The force is strong with that one.